Two weeks into the season, nothing is set in stone. I need to keep reminding myself of that. The Arrogant Americans are 0-2 for the first time since 2006. And only seven times in OIL history has an 0-2 team made the playoffs:
The Walking Softly Award
When I was in high school, we went up and played Capitol Hill. We were a perennial playoff team and Capitol Hill always struggled just to field a team. We didn't take them seriously and lollygagged all through the first half. At halftime, we were up 13-0. Our coach walked in and said, "you guys should be really proud of yourselves; that's a quality football team out there you're beating." And then he walked out. That's it. The point was made and we went out and took care of business in the second half. The next morning the local beat writer said "Coach Ernie Manning must have really laid into the Highlanders at halftime, as they came out and scored . . . "
I say that because that's how I imagine the SoonerJack locker room after week one, when the two-time champions put up a paltry 110 points in their season opener. Well, point taken. Bruesch's squad outlasted the defending champion Dirty Hippies: 194.75-142.75.
Trovillo's Hippies were not able to make their first three draft picks (although they planned on drafting Le'Veon Bell anyway) and were not happy with how their team turned out. But they come out of week two at 1-1 with Bell set to return from suspension. This isn't a deep team, but it's scored 290.70 points through two weeks without their best player. The defending champs aren't going away lightly.
Monday Night Comeback!
Jessen's DominationStation went into Monday Night Football trailing Duffy's Hangovers by 12. With Andrew Luck and Andre Johnson going up against Hangover Dwayne Allen, a DominationStation victory looked inevitable . . . but then the game started. And Luck was terrible. He had three turnovers and the Colts had zero points through three quarters. It looked like Duffy was going to steal one until Luck hit Donte Moncrief for a touchdown to give Jessen the lead in the fourth quarter of the final game of the week. Congratulations, Jessen.
So close it hurts . . .
2007 champion Morgan (Whackers) lost to 2013 champion Cobb (Dogs of War) by 1.15 points. The 103.50-102.35 score was also the lowest combined score in the league this week, but hey: a win's a win.
Game of the Week Recap
It was number one versus number two and I called it the game of the week. It didn't disappoint. The AMMODOGS came into Monday Night Football down by 10 points to Leal's Norman Nobodies, who didn't have anyone playing Monday evening. Rogers's hopes fell on week-one star (and smart mid-round pick) Chris Ivory. It looked good early as the Jets flustered the Colts and controlled the clock but it wasn't enough. Ivory finished with only eight points and the Nobodies escaped with a win and the top spot in the standings.
AMMODOGS vs. SoonerJack
The AMMODOGS hope to take their week two frustration out on SoonerJack, who had the highest score in the league last week. With two strong teams like this, I'm calling it a toss-up.
Lucky Enuf vs. Norman Nobodies
The two-time champions go on the road to face the new number-one team in the league: the Norman Nobodies. Lucky Enuf is Yahoo!'s pick to win it all, and it's hard to argue with their talent. But they've now lost Tony Romo and Leal's Nobodies seem to be on a roll. Leal wins this one.
DominationStation vs. Hard Targets
Here we have the number-two team facing last year's number-two finisher: Finch's Hard Targets. Yahoo! didn't like the draft Jessen engineered while Finch himself doesn't like the draft Cliburn hauled in for him. Jessen's DominationStation live up to their name and get a huge head start on the rest of the league at 3-0.
Whackers vs. Dirty Hippies
Morgan's Whackers are possibly without Drew Brees, Eddie Lacy, and Jason Witten this week. Meanwhile, Trovillo finally gets Le'Veon Bell back in a Dirty Hippies uniform. If Morgan's wounded trio miss the game, the Hippies get to 2-1. If those guys play, I'm taking Morgan.
Dead Again vs. Arrogant Americans
Schmidt's team is more like The Walking Dead than Dead Again. Every season, we don't hear much from him. He misses the draft to officiate a funeral. He starts out with a loss, and he goes for what seems like days without responding to a trade offer. But his zombie team always manages to stay in the thick of it and knock off some contenders along the way. I hate to say it, but that's exactly what I think they'll do this week (although I'm not sure I'd call my Arrogant Americans a contender at this point). The wild card in this game will be Arian Foster. If he starts, the 'Mericans may have a chance. If not, Schmidt gets to 2-1.
Hangovers vs. Roughnecks
Duffy's Hangovers are an angry bunch after losing to Jessen in the fourth quarter of Monday Night Football. Meanwhile, the Roughnecks are in turmoil. They failed to break triple-digits last week. They've benched their QB (Sam Bradford). Their best player (Dez Bryant) is injured. And their most promising RB (Todd Gurley) hasn't touched the field yet. Baldwin falls to 1-2 while Duffy moves to 2-1.
Dogs of War vs. DARC NARCS
Cobb's Dogs of War hit the road to play the surprise of the season so far: Henderon's DARC NARCS. Cobb is a former champion, but his team doesn't look like a contender. Henderson is at 2-0 and ranked third in the league. He wins this one easily but still fails to thank Cliburn for drafting him a good team.