NFC: Cliburn's Week One Preview
As my dad (and his dad before him) used to say, the drought is over; football is finally here. Can you believe it? I thought it was never coming back. Every February, I'm like a dog that doesn't understand object permanence. Football walks away, and I wait and whine impatiently until I see it walk back through that door the following September. In light of Zerger's Week One Preview of the AFC, I'm going to try my hand analyzing the opening weekend's games. Warning: I'm not as funny as Zerger thinks he is, so don't expect as many jokes.
Yahoo! didn't like Jessen's draft, but DominationStation's week one lineup looks pretty good to me. He pairs a bellcow RB in C.J. Anderson with the top QB in the fantasy game: Andrew Luck. And Jessen got more than expected from RB DeAngelo Williams in the Thursday Night Football game. Meanwhile, the Arrogant Americans aren't yet playing at full strength as they wait on Arian Foster to return from a torn groin muscle (that hurts just typing it). Yahoo! has this as a toss-up, but I'm going to pick Jessen's team to win this one. Yes, Andrew Luck goes on the road to face a tough Buffalo defense, but what else are the Colts going to do? Run it? I'm expecting Luck to score more than the 24 projected points Yahoo! forecasts. If that happens, Jessen wins a big one in week one.
The annual Dog Bowl has never looked this lopsided. Rogers's AMMODOGS put in work this offseason and showed up to the draft prepared. The 2013 Dogs of War didn't draft their own team. The fantasy gods disapproved as a stunning eight DoW players are injured, suspended, not on a team, or questionable. Say no more; the AMMODOGS win this one easily.
Lucky Enuf manager Pyle started complaining about opening up his season against the 2014 champion Dirty Hippies, but perhaps he should have waited until after the draft to worry. The Hippies couldn't be at the draft as Mrs. Trovillo's baby was due any minute. Trovillo had trouble getting logged into the draft in time and missed his first three picks. Number one overall pick Le'Veon Bell won't suit up for the Hippies until week three. The Hippies are short-handed and Lucky Enuf was awarded the Best Draft by Yahoo!. Count on Lucky Enuf to make a strong statement in their quest to make the playoffs for the first time since 2010.
Both the Whackers and Roughnecks had strong drafts. On paper, Morgan's Whackers look like the favorites, and they started out fast with a huge game from WR Julian Edelman. But my money is on Baldwin's Roughnecks to pull the upset behind a big day from former Sooner Sam Bradford.
Duffy's Hangovers, fresh off saying some pretty horrible things about Dead Again in the league message board, got Gronked in the worst way Thursday night. Schmidt's squad must have been listening because both Roethlisberger and Gronkowski (three receiving touchdowns) went off. But I said it after the draft and I'm sticking by it now: I really like this Hangovers team. Even though they're already down by 55 points going into Sunday, I see a comeback in their future. Hangovers in a close one.
Finch's Hard Targets went limp on Draft Day, oversleeping and missing the bus to the draft. Then they pitched a fit and refused to draft their roster. Thank God Finch has the type of commissioner that took over and drafted his team in order to prevent an autodraft disaster. This team has Peyton Manning, Adrian Peterson, Lamar Miller, T.Y. Hilton, and Sammy Watkins. What's not to love? Well, their opponent. Leal's Norman Nobodies (fresh off a last-place finish in 2014) got off to a fast start with huge games from Tom Brady and Heath Miller. And they still have Demariyus Thomas and LeSean McCoy left to go. The Nobodies aren't finishing last this year . . . or this week for that matter. Finch starts out 0-1.
SoonerJack manager Bruesch drafted a strong, balanced roster while the DARC NARCS lack the depth of SoonerJack. On top of that, they may be missing WR Mike Evans. Even with Evans, I'd lean Bruesch here, so I'm going with SoonerJack over Henderson's NARCS. I expect big games from Eli Manning, Calvin Johnson, DeMarco Murray, and Delanie Walker. SoonerJack makes it look easy.
It is obvious that you and Duffy perform fellatio on each other
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