Dirty Hippies manager Christopher Trovillo is the only OILer who never wore the 158 patch. Trovillo was an active-duty soldier at Fort Sill in 2007 when he somehow found himself at a party at Cliburn's house. He joined the OIL later that year. He currently holds the record for most consecutive seasons promising he'll be at the draft party and then not showing up. He lives in Tennessee, but that's no excuse.
The Hippies broke through in 2014, riding Le'Veon Bell to their first championship. Two years later, they did it again.
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Enforcers manager Bill Straily is a retired soldier and retired police officer, hence the team name. He spent the 2006 SECFOR mission at Camp Delta, Iraq (near the Iranian border).
Straily took the OIL by storm in 2015, when he won nine regular season games en route to a first-round bye. But he missed the 2016 draft due to the birth of his grandson, and his autodraft was not kind. He limped to a 3-10 finish and has something to prove in 2017.
Doughboys manager Nick Green ranks fourth in the OIL in average points per season, and he averages a fourth-place finish over three OIL seasons. That's pretty impressive for someone who saves all year to go to the annual Street Fighter II convention. Fun fact: Although Green is a combat veteran and security professional, he's most proud of his cosplay as Guile. Sonic boom!
Dogs of War manager Aaron Cobb likes to market himself as the "tough guy" of the league, but, by my count, he's the only OILer to ever be knocked out on national TV. Cobb joined the league in 2007, although he was on the 2006 mission with the rest of the guys. In 2013, he rode Peyton Manning and the seven dwarves to an OIL championship, beating the Commish's Arrogant Americans in a travesty of justice the league has yet to recover from.
Fun fact: Cobb was unwittingly a part of "Straight Dave's Man-Slammin' Maxout" in the Oscar-nominated film Bruno.
Brewmasters manager Joshua Lynn decided he was too good for the rest of us grunts after the 2006 SECFOR mission and proceeded to go officer. He then moved to New York before accepting a job in Fort Worth. He now lives in North Dakota. Why do you hate your SECFOR brothers and why do you hate Oklahoma, Lynn?
On the field, Lynn began his OIL career with two-straight winning seasons and playoff appearances. But, in 2016, he drafted 20 RBs in the first five rounds and fell to 5-8.
Yancy Baldwin joined the OIL in 2011, when his Reapers franchise moved over from the now-defunct Man's Game League (MGL). His OIL career started with two playoff appearances and a 19-10 record, but it's been all downhill from there, going 20-32 over the next four seasons. However, in terms of points scored, the past four seasons have been even better than Baldwin's first two, when he averaged 1,700.85 points per season. For example, Baldwin scored 1,766.35 points in 2012 and finished 10-3. But, in 2016, even though he scored more points (1,783.00) than in 2012, he went a mirror image 3-10.
The difference? Besides changing his name from Reapers to Roughnecks, his opponents averaged just 120.94 points per game in 2012. In 2016? 147.15. That'll do it.
Vultures manager Stephen Brosh will do anything for a pair of Oakleys, used to walk through pad 14 pretending to be a raptor, and, most importantly for OIL purposes, was Cliburn's roommate in Baghdad (as well as going to basic training and AIT with Cliburn). Really, after that much time together, it's a wonder Brosh even joined the league when Cliburn invited him in 2014.
Brosh has three-straight winning seasons to begin his OIL career, as well as two semifinals appearances. Sadly, though, his title chances have been vultured from him two years in a row.
AMMODOGS manager Mike Rogers joined the OIL in 2009. He is a member of the 158 but wasn't on the 2006 Iraq mission, as he spent the year in arguably a worse desert: Mangum, Oklahoma. He's completed eight seasons in the league but has yet to win a playoff game.
Rogers has made three playoff appearances and been defeated in the first round each time. Granted, he was in Afghanistan for one of those seasons, but what about the other seven? Have some pride, man.
Norman Not City Councilmen manager Matthew Leal is the only OILer to lose to his archrival in the championship game. In 2007, he faced his Baghdad roommate Lyndal Morgan in the OIL Bowl, losing to the Whackers. He hasn't made the OIL Bowl since then, although he came close in 2015. That season, he was the favorite heading into the playoffs, riding an angry Tom Brady to the semifinals and a number-one seed. But a Theo Riddick fumble was the difference between a shot at history and another disappointing finish.
Fun fact: Leal named his daughter after the Commish; now that's loyalty! The rest of you ungrateful bastards could learn a thing or two about respect from Leal.
DARC NARCS manager Ulysses Henderson holds the OIL record for most points in a game. He scored 236.10 points in week 15 of the 2015 regular season against Finch. Unfortunately, he also holds the record for most points in a season while missing the playoffs. In 2013, Henderson scored 2,008.65 points (154.51 ppg) but failed to secure one of the six playoff spots. The 2,008.65 points was second-most in the league that year. Tough break, Hendo.
Henderson's team name is an homage to the '90s video game NARC, as Henderson was a black narcotics officer when he joined the OIL. |
March 2023
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