NFC: Cliburn's Rivalry Week Preview

IT'S HATE WEEK!

Welcome to week 13: Rivalry Week. This is the week where playoff hopes don't matter. Your season isn't over, no matter how poor your record. This week you get a chance at bragging rights for the next year. Time to beat your rivals, gentlemen. My 'Mericans are 4-8. The Hangovers are 2-10. Neither one of us are making the playoffs, but I can't express enough how much a Rivalry Week victory will salvage our seasons to some degree. 

Of course, there are playoff implications this week (just not in my matchup). Finch and Leal are one win away from guaranteeing a first-round bye. Finch can probably guarantee a first-round bye even with a loss, but a win here would break the OIL record for most consecutive victories (putting Finch at 11-straight). His Hard Targets are averaging 178.82 points over their last seven games (and when you take out the outliers on the high end and low end, he's averaging 183.64 points over that stretch). So this 10-game winning streak is no fluke. They're the favorite heading into the playoffs. 

If Leal falters, Bruesch could snag a bye with a win over the godless Dogs of War. Jessen could play spoiler against a Rogers team that needs a win to ensure a playoff spot. Pyle can do the same with a win against Schmidt (who he has struggled against historically), and Schmidt could sneak into the playoffs with a win against Pyle (and a little help). Pyle hasn't made the playoffs since 2010, so this is a HUGE matchup. It would be just like Schmidt to keep Pyle from making the tournament for a fifth-straight season.

​Lots going on this week. We'll be sure to discuss it all on the podcast Wednesday at 1900 CST. Here are last week's matchup results; Rivalry Week analysis after the jump. 

Rather than giving my predictions,
​I'll let the rivals themselves tell the story of Hate Week. 
[Note: The home team is determined by who won last year's Rivalry Week matchup. Records against each other are in parentheses.]

#10 ​Arrogant Americans (4-8) at ​​#13 Hangovers (2-10)
​(7-4)

DUFFY: The 2015 reunion was perfect. My draft couldn't have gone better. The Yahoo! story was epic. I would have bet the farm on making the playoffs after the draft I had. After week one, my confidence had never been higher with any of my fantasy football squads. Then, in the following weeks, my season eroded too fast for me to recover. I traded, made many moves, and tried to be optimistic. It was all a waste. 

CLIBURN: That's pretty much how I feel. The season has gone so horribly that it's hard to even get up for this game. If I win, I'll be ecstatic. It'll mean I won't have to hear from Duffy all year. But, if I lose, it's just another loss in a terrible season. And, with the Hangovers being 2-10, I can't even play spoiler.

DUFFY: I feel like the only way to make this season right is to lay waste to my rival, whether he's playoff-bound or not. I've never been so close to quitting. Anything less than a victory this week is unacceptable. 

CLIBURN: Agreed. May the most bitter team win. 

#2 Norman Nobodies (9-3) at #14 Whackers (2-10)
​(6-5)

LEAL: Don't worry, Morgan. It will all be over soon. 

MORGAN: No worries here. Just go on and win the championship, homie. If I can't win it, I want you to.

​#12 DominationStation (3-9) at ​​#5 AMMODOGS (7-5)
​(3-2)

ROGERS: I'm not really a trash-talker. I feel like it always ends up jinxing me. 

CLIBURN: Fortunately for us, Jessen does not put such limitations on himself. 

JESSEN: I hope your wife gets pregnant with twin girls from the celebratory sex you have after kicking my ass. And then I hope they grow up to be strippers and my son screws both of them at a college party and never talks to them again afterwards: never returns texts; blocks them on Facebook; ignores their phone calls . . . that will be my revenge.

CLIBURN: I admire Jessen's patience. Revenge is a dish best served cold, after all.

​#8 Dead Again (7-5) at #6 Lucky Enuf (7-5)
​(8-6)

PYLE: Schmidt needs to go ahead and embalm himself to increase my chances of securing that final playoff spot. 

CLIBURN: I wouldn't count on that. Schmidt can still make the playoffs with a win here. Don't expect Dead Again to lie down just yet.

​#9 Roughnecks (6-6) at #1 Hard Targets (10-2)
​(2-2)

FINCH: You're going down, Nancy.

#11 ​Dogs of War (4-8) at #3 SoonerJack (8-4)
​(7-3)

BRUESCH: Just lay there and take it, Cobb. 

#4 DARC NARCS (8-4) at #7 Dirty Hippies (7-5)
(3-2)

HENDERSON: I'm still too pissed off that I lost last week to waste my time worrying about the Hippies.

CLIBURN: Those are the defending champion Dirty Hippies​ who beat you in Rivalry Week last season. I'm sure you can muster some hate somehow.

TROVILLO: Congratulations to the NARCS for their second winning season. Maybe one day they'll actually win a championship (like we did last year).