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Negligent Discharges manager Adam Schuster was on the 2006 SECFOR mission but only joined the OIL in 2014. He started his OIL career 6-1 and looked poised to reign supreme over the rest of the AFC . . . but looks can be deceiving. Since that 6-1 start, Schuster is 11-21, good for a 34.3% winning percentage. This team is the ultimate tease, and they have exactly zero playoff appearances to prove it.

You'd think someone with such a dismal record would keep quiet out of sheer shame, but not Schuster! No, he mouths off every year and thinks he can get away with it just because he got shot that one time in Ramadi. Listen here, Snowflake: whether you almost died or not, no one is going to take it easy on you here. The OIL is not a safe space: win or get made fun of.